Barry Led the Way

Barry was always starting clubs and I was usually his first recruit. Of course there had to be initiation rites which would involve a string of feats that he had just managed to perform himself. These could include climbing a washing pole, making a bow and arrow from our grandparents’ garden canes and firing them over a set number of neighbours’ back gardens, reciting the names of the footballers in Raith Rovers’ team or ships in the British navy!

My Dancing Partner

When we were young, Barry and I took part in many ballroom dancing competitions wearing beautiful dresses and black suit and tails. To dance well together the man has to take a strong lead. We were very close and I knew his leading instinctively, when we would do a ‘spin turn’ or a sideways ‘lunge’. Sometimes at rehearsals we would dance to a musical medley. The tempo would suddenly change from waltz to quickstep rhythm. I’m reminded of these days when life’s pace quickens and without warning God seems to be leading in a very clear and definite direction, almost tango style. Barry’s strong lead on the dance floor taught me the joy of intimate following.

My Rescue

As children a favourite trip was to go with our grandmother to the nearby beach to collect sea coal. Once when the tide was out we went clambering over the rocks and I slipped on seaweed and could have drowned in a rock pool had Barry not pulled me out.

When Barry was 24 he met Maureen, a committed Christian, and had a powerful encounter with Jesus. At that time I was at my lowest ebb, drowning in sin and shame; Barry’s immediate goal was to rescue me and through his changed life and godly friends from church, his sharing and praying, I followed him in the Way.

A Hard Act to Follow

From the moment of his conversion Barry had a passion to see people know Jesus as Saviour and Lord. When he was diagnosed with cancer in his bladder, kidney and pancreas early in 2023, he was quick to respond with ‘I have cancer, but cancer doesn’t have me.’ A huge operation followed, and though it initially seemed successful a follow up scan showed rapid spread to pelvis, spine and lungs. During a brief spell in hospital, Barry was radiant, commenting that it felt like his ‘life finale’. He shared his faith with family and friends, with other terminally ill cancer patients and hospital staff finding an unparalleled openness. Barry was home with oxygen for less than a week in which time he wound up his blog with a 3 part life story, put the finishing touches to his well thought out funeral plan and videoed a testimony for his church’s New Year service. Having said all his goodbyes he moved into the hospice on Monday 4th December and died the next evening.

At the end of 2022, before his diagnosis, Barry made a Bucket List of New Year Resolutions for 2023. He had no notion to run a marathon, climb a mountain or visit an exotic location. His sole aim was to grow in ‘godly contentment’ spelt out in 8 goals like ‘practising the presence of Christ’ and ‘maintaining an attitude of gratitude’. Little did he know it would be his very last year, but he achieved every point on his list. He fought the good fight not with cancer, but with the temptations to doubt and despair, honoured God throughout it and finished gloriously well.